Presidential Technologies
A couple of weeks ago, I was at the Winter AUSA symposium. The symposium is designed to highlight some of the latest technologies in defense. Almost every contractor imaginable was present, as well as a few that I hadn’t heard of. This year, the symposium included a small section just outside the main hall. It wasn’t a part of AUSA, but tried to take advantage of the huge crowds the symposium drew in. All the technologies presented at what I would consider a converted hot dog stand were geared towards the Office of the President of the United States. Here are just a few of those technologies being presented:
No longer will the President’s staff be required to cart around tons of gear to ensure that Obama’s speeches go exactly as written by his handlers. He will no longer be confined by two static section of the his audience on the left and right. With the Presidential Porta-Prompter, Obama can now appear to address every member of the audience as he speaks!
As we all know, President Obama has a huge interest in equalizing the playing field for the little guy. To help with this, one company has created the oPhone. The oPhone will be a direct competitor to the iPhone with a twist. Instead of open content, the phone will provide a direct to the Obama Administration. It will keep tabs on how much you are spending and how much you are making. If a disparity exists and you end up with a windfall profit at a Bingo game or cash your grandmother’s birthday check, the IRS will automatically be notified and your taxes increased automatically. The phone also has a unique feature that blocks all negative stories about the President from getting to your phone and will stream live Obama speeches. It also ensures you never have to hear the likes of Rush Limbaugh ever again by blocking his signals.
With Obama’s obvious disdain for the military mission and complete misunderstanding of national security, he has been sending out his wife to speak to the troops. He will stoop so low as to visit with them in the event of a withdrawal or lack of funds for troops. In anticipation of his defense budget cuts and reduction in new weapons technologies, Luger is hawking the one technology that the Obama administration may embrace as the sidearm of choice for our troops.
Posted on March 15th, 2009 by CJ
Filed under: Uncategorized
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